Autumn Serenade

Play me the song that could melt every heart that listens.

I took up violin because I enjoyed the music my neighbour played every evening. Ironically, I stopped the lessons when I were 5 because I wanted to do well in my studies. I was an obedient daughter, stayed at home at much of the time, not outside playing 'masak-masak' because i'm simply a homely, family person.

Then after I saw Eman's pics (the pic above) on Flickr, I was wondering to continue my violin.

u are gorgeous

u're freaking hot mister!

oh oh Ed Westwick!

Do you know that i have a heavy crush on you?



p/s: Now for upcoming birthday, anyone who are willing to buy me a ticket to england (which I use the opportunity to meet this gorgeous guy), u're more than welcome ladies n gentleman

My CAS journal

I always feel very excited and can't wait to update the blog whenever I have interesting things to blog about. But unfortunately sometimes when I already reached the middle of the entry, suddenly the mood faded away. That's the time when I would hit the 'save now' button and logged out right away. This cause me to always have a few drafts in my folder and usually... most of them would be gone obviously because I would delete them right after I logged in again later. This entry is also one of them but fortunately I didn't decide to make it vanish so now I'm doing some editing and updating on it ;P yea,Qila urged me to update. *sigh*

Piqa, one of my classmate came out with an idea to do CAS somewhere at Johol a few months back. So, we just did it. Yesterday to be exact. At Rumah Kasih Ulu Inas. and here it is :-

i'll just make this one short ok.



us with those kids and abah :)



morning excercises. sometimes u'll realize how lucky u r to be the photographer of the day when u did not need to do all those tortured thing. heh.



nabihah and ira with the kid



we did hiking! fun fun fun :)



ohh. tahi lembu mix dengan tanah. anyone?



rumah yg cute :)



Those orphan are all nice and sweet. Might be I should just be grateful with what I have all around me... think positives always... and accept fate as the way it is. I know it is depends on us to strive to change our own fate but... I'm talking about something that nothing I could do. Because if I knew I might not be happy too even if I choose other options available. Every decision has its' advantages and disadvantages and every decision made also has its' own sacrifices, no? We can never get all we want at one time right, no? Well... just be grateful... keep striving and praying for the best... last but not least at the end when nothing I could do... just leave it to God's will. I bet one might able to lose his/ her sanity just to be in my shoes... really. I thank God for keeping me sane though... forever, InsyaAllah. Dear Almighty, please gives me strength to keep me survive always, Amin.

toodles!


nota kaki : Honestly I am really not in the mood to update the blog nowadays, even for bloghopping, leaving comments, replying comments or even to say hi. I'm so sorry guys if I just keep being silent. I feel like I'm so occupied with stuffs or is it because of the brain-freeze? Somehow sometimes it makes me feel good just to keep silent and ignorant from what is happening outside of my world :) But still as for today... I'm making an effort to blog

what i discover

if you found someone who treats you the way you treat them or even in a much better way, appreciate them, keep them, coz its hard to find such people...

if you never know how long your love would last, don't even start it...
it may last in a short while...

if you are not committed to love someone as the first time, don't even start it...
the feelings may fade...

if you are in love with someone, and afraid that someday it might hurt you,
don't even start it...
it will..

if you care someone too much, and they don't even bother...
expect it coz it always like that...

if you find out that they no longer the one you used to know...
expect it coz they say people change...

if they begin to walking away from your life...
expect it coz they might found someone better...

and last but not least,
if you love someone,
and that someone leave you,
remember the one that you love,
not the one that leave you...

short one people

i bet some of you (assuming that there is any) must be disappointed to find that i am only updating about this when i’ve been on a long hiatus. ok-la. a bit exaggerating on that. not that very long but anyway, my days have been extremely bussyyyyyyy.final final final. i’ve got 3 more papers to go !. how restless! and i just can't wait to go out this Saturday.

sumpah syg azie sbb nak tgk 2012.

ayuni? u wanna join us? *wink*

he is used to be.........

there are so many reasons of why i admire this guy, despite the fact that he is good looking. he is more than meets the eye. he is used to be someone who i wish to be when i was a little kid.

to be continued…

random random

1. i seriously should sleep right now but i’m doing this instead.

2. this is just one of the days when i’m too overwhelmed by happy thoughts. yippie!

3. i love spending super long time in the bathroom since it helps me to escape from reality for a while. because once i return to my desk, i’m going to have to study or doing reports which i hate.

4. final is just around the corner and honestly i'm not ready!!! argghhh

5. currently listening to My Girl (OST)

6. Can someone take me to Subang please? ok, jk.

7. eh why i didn't see him on9 these few days? Oh oh, goody2 boy. He must be studying right now. yeaahh.

8. I am hungry. suddenly craving for Kenny Rogers after went through the Misc's album in my folder.

9. I never thought fakri will say something like that. thnx mate!!! auww kri, worth knowing u since high school. ahahaha.

10. and last but not least, i just looveee it when i private my blog. wohoo..it feels like i'm free to pour anything but i still have few audiences btw. but i still accept em :)

ps: and who knows i will upload pic of that person whom I have crush on? *giggling*

u might be lucky! HAHAHA

oh really?

Where is my pot of luck?

there must be something that has been covering my pot of luck..

since i’ve been showering in torrents of bad events recently; shaded in dark shadows crawling my way in search for the sun.

This week is among the thoughest week I've ever had in MCS. Many things happen, but they did not bring the happiness in me. One by one.. I cry myself to sleep, thinking of what Ive been went through for the last 7months. Wondering is this all that I want? Am I able to end this IB with a great success ? arggg..I can feel the tense are growing bigger and bigger in me each day. no, it's not comfortable at all. I feel like a loser and it sucks! Not to mention when I'm not in the list for the ^&%&(&^)%*)_). urghhh..sucks ain’t it to hope for something but u did'nt get it?

and if I have anyone to blame right now,

that person will be me. i’ve got guiltiness plastered up all over my face. i’m guilty as charged. i must admit, i’m good at doing this. doing things that will make myself regret it later. saying things that will later send me off curling inside my bed, whining on things, regretting on things, hating on things. i’m good at this. i swear. i good at disappointing myself. i’m good at faking my intentions. i’m good at turning down all the things i’ve ever wanted and desired. i’m good at being the person who will ruined my whole day. i swear i would have thought that i’ve ever rehearsed.

maybe taking things at an easier pace will make some differences. i know, things will eventually turned out to be well. i know it, because i can feel the same way as you.

just maybe this once, the one who is crawling towards all these will not be me.

life is so miserable right now. the pressure is totally chocking me up to the level where i can’t bear playing me. if any of you have been wishing to walk in my shoes (yeah right.. ), seriously now isn’t the time. but just in case if you are willing to trade your wonderful life with mine, and also willing to take risk of cleaning all these mess that i’ve spilled over, i’m all yours baby. all arrangements are totally ON!

how i wish. le sigh.

how???

how right can right be and how wrong can wrong be? if someone tells you that what you are doing is wrong, what would you do? what is wrong to that person could be right to the other person. life's challenging. deciphering people's thought is what we actually do everyday.

sakit

Salam people!

1. If there's one thing that is important enough for you to know about me at this moment is that- I'm very homesick and I need to go home as soon as possible. Life has been busy like bubby and the homesickness grows exponentially, it seems. Hmm.. still waiting for the final exams timetable. But.. I kind of have some activities to attend to after the finals and truth be told, somehow I wondered whether I'm liking it or not. =.='

2. So I found out today that there are actually people who read my blog. Hmm.. weird. I'm not used to a big audience. Everything here is downright personal and I've never really directly give out my blog address just so I get more traffic. But it's good to know that you're not talking to yourself after all. You are not alone. Somehow I'm actually not comfortable to know that there are more people who I know from real life who reads my blog because now technically I can't talk bad about them anymore.. hehehe. I didn't expect people to care, really. I don't write for a magazine.

3. Now on another matter... actually it has been quite some times I have been thinking about making my blog private/moving from Blogspot. I started pondering about this since months ago. I'm thinking of getting myself a good host and a nice domain to stay with. But of course, I need to really know what I'm gonna do before I "stand on my own". Somehow my relationship with blogspot became long-term and it's been almost three years!

4. Last but not least, I deactivated my FB account. Why oh? Because F*kri told something that suddenly distracted my emotions =.=' well, maybe it was my mistake at the first place. Being too obsessed. oh no, it was not F*kri's fault. Errr..there was something lahh.. perrrghhhhh.. things not going my way. My "snap" can be my sudden silence or the start of my ignorance towards someone/something but nothing really physical nor loud. I guess it's more emotionally torturing that way. But it goes the same way when I'm down or fumbling towards emotional destruction. My energy gets used up in focusing on that certain sadness, that I'd be drifting into another world every five seconds; unable to utter even the simplest words to join in a conversation.

Permai Beach, Kuching

Sometimes I do wonder why am I always write something emo/pathetic?

Is this really my life?

Murads Fundation

There had been so many experiences both melancholic and joyful to be remembered this week. When Sara suggested to me about going to the rumah anak yatim for Mercy Medic's CAS Activity, I was absolutely excited bout it. I love kids and I admit it ya! :)

New plan, with a new environment, with new perspectives and with plan waiting ahead. Again, it isn't that easy at all...since we were already in the state where u know..homeworks, lab reports. urghhh..u know what I mean lah kan..But then, with all the co-operations from all the team members, well I think it turned out to the other way round which I never think of. *positive thinking*

It was quite embarassing when I started to conduct the ice breaking yesterday. Let me tell u this but this is just between u and me ok? phewwhh..I couldn't differentiate the meaning of 'bangun' and 'angkat'. ahh ok. i know my bm sucks. I don't think I'm gonna tell u how it happened. infront of all the kids and everybody was laughing at me. awwww..malu sioott =___=' That was one of the funniest moments of my life, if not the funniest.

Ok, lets take a look at the group with their facis

kak nini :)

abg saiful and abg syamil :)

kak sara and kak aisyah :)

kak mai n kak ika :)



kak becky and kak eka :)


and the games....

and some random pics. more on FB! :D

i changed my perspective towards skem. LOL

auww...

nahhh....naughty nini!

i like this pic! *thumbs-up*
Adam, our senior join us and obviously he loves kids! :D

and it's time for us to go back

It was hella fun but I'm dreading it because it has given me so much headache. LOL. My group had so many problems but hey, Becky and I did well to control the naughty kids. (cehh..bajet). And I can see that those kids are very sensitive. When you tried to cool down a kid from crying, another kid started crying. It went on for billion times. Oh… It was a headache. I realized that it was difficult for a mum to look after the kids. I wondered how mums could handle 8 to 10 kids in the olden days. The house must be full of ‘wonderful’ sounds.

Oh just so you know, I've learnt a lot from the programme. :)


With all the co-operation from all the Mercy Medic's club, we did it! Congratz guys!

Just as long as I'm safe, I'm willing to go through thick and thin. I am now comfortably safe in my four walls.

Well, that's all the updates for now.