Ahh sedih.

Yeahh I wish to have a formal weekend.
Finals pun dah habis yeay!
Nak bermanja dengan katil.
And of course banyak lagi mende lain nak buat
And makan makan bina lemak
Esok gym la nampaknye
boo meja tak kemas tuh baru gaya org nerd
Aaa mngarut tido yukk
Eh jap packing nak travel jap.
8 hours 57 minutes kata mereka.
Semoga Allah memberkati musafir ini :)


What you want is not what you need....

Hot topic

Assalamualaikum!

Last night private sharing session with housemates. And is this girl's famous topic? Like everytime we talk, mesti ada je terselit or mesti ada je end up dengan topic kahwin. Arghh stress ! Kaum adam selalu tak cakap pasal ni ha? Kalau tak why we are girls always think about it?

Adakah we all gatal or korang tak sanggup menghadapi cabaran ini. Haa last night I listened to one of this - lelaki berkahwin bukan semata-mata mendapat wanita tersebut, bawak pergi honeymoon, but once you get married, all responsibilities didikan agama, segala dosa wanita yang ditanggung before ni turn to you-husband. Waa such a big deal right.

Invisible but saya yang dengar wah no wonder kalau tanya kenapa tak nak kahwin sebab tak ready, tapi sampai bila kaan. Kami wanita mesti laa tak rasa tu kan, kahwin lagi senang kot,dapat pahala free as long obey to your husband. Senyum, masak, makeup semua untuk suami.

Usually syndrome kahwin ni akan rasa bila stress nak/tengah exam (macam sekarang) or when you look at friend's of your friend wedding picture. Arghh cantiknya, nak kahwin, argh sweetnyaa.Semua ada. Hum kalau tengok reramai lagi la, ok kawin aku nak design ini itu, colour itu ini, nak buat kat mana laa. Haissh cari wedding planner la. Eeeei kahwin kot, easy but a lots to go through..Haruslah tak semua benda senang kot.

For the time being, I try to be a good, to change to be a good girl, muslimah. Dalaman harus kuat Nurul Atiqa, hati harus tabah dan kental gitu. Don't regret what you have passed through before this and now, take it as exprience. Experience is a good teacher ever, mungkin kita tak rasa berguna sekarang, mungkin it used when you are going to get marry, having life with my future husband. It is called basic.

Simple but looks complicated.Whatever it is, dont stop dreaming. hahaha. At least make you awake !

************************

Baru baru ini seorang saudara terdekat saya dah pun menikah. Sempat lagi skype dengan diorang masa majlis and I asked my uncle , "So how do you feel?". "I feel very young!" he joked. Then he asked me, "How are you ka? Have you found 'the one'?" I smiled. He said, "Don't rush into marriage. Take your time. A beautiful girl like you... you have to be very careful."

Well I just nodded in agreement. (He calls all of us nieces beautiful, by the way).

"Remember, marriage is not a race. It's a journey. And being in love and being married are two different things."

I can't forget those words! So deep...

Credit : Asma' wedding picture

Sometimes

A week to end up first year, InsyaAllah and more to come to challenges field-medicine-suck it up deal with it. Just finished 1 paper, 4 days gap, 3 more papers to go. Don't ask how was the Human Disease paper because they were so terrible and triple awesome. Why why people's now are exam oriented. Is there any style to test our understanding, having a test giving me a big pressure. Increasing of pressure is always proportionally increase with the growth of acne.

Just missed : being a kid, where you don't have time to worries, no reason to stress. Just do anything like a boss

But now, needs to think a lots of thing. The hardest thing to make sure every people around you are happy, to make sure no one will not get hurt with you! Susah kan nak jaga perasaan orang.

Dulu duit takde boleh mintak, sekarang duit takde pandai2 la haaa nak hidup.

Urghh......ape ni tak baik mengeluh.hummmmmmm.

Just like Butterfly

Assalamualaikum.

I was going through my old blog posts. And I realized, I have grown.

It is such an overwhelming feeling. These posts act as ‘Reminder to Self’ as well as ‘Hey, Look How Much You’ve Grown.’

The latter are those really, really old posts that sometimes I couldn’t imagine myself writing that, experiencing that. Those posts made me cringe. But I’m thankful for all the bad and especially good past.

Growing up, I’ve always been that kid that over-thinks. Once when I was 9, my Malay teacher taught us this proverb. I couldn’t remember what it was but I remember the meaning was ‘someone who thinks too much.’ And that teacher mentioned the cons of thinking too much. And I caught him looking at me a bit longer than at the others when we were discussing that. And my heart whispered “Atiqa, he knows.” I always wondered how he knew.

It’s a trait I wish I could delete. I still do that you know, over-think. Though much lesser, because I have stronger faith now.

I really miss my loved ones. Everyday, I do. All I could do is pray to Allah to take care of those that I miss.

And I hope you had a good one.

Haziq!

Hihi

Ayam Madu

Assalamualaikum and hye!

Alhamdulillah. Things are really looking up for me. I am now in my finals week, I hope it will work out well for me. And I don't mind if I'm constantly updating this new link everyday, no one bothers anyways since I don't give this new link to anyone.

I am actually feeling a bit heavy-hearted now that my term is about to end. My colleagues, they are very nice people. And patient. Sometimes I feel like I'm a liability to them.

Medicine has never made this much sense to me. I have a feeling that second year will be fantastic. It's like I'm seeing things in HD now.

Hmm. And I just watched Irma and Reza's Pre-Wedding and Akad Nikah wedding. What a way to spend you afterrnon time. And being sensitive as I am, I was cried watching that. Le sigh. Excuse me, touching ok. Sigh again.

And ohh for dinner, goreng ayam madu marinate untuk housemates tersayang. Ok bye nak pergi makan! :D

Kids

The thing I really miss about lil cousins is the unconditional love and continuous hugs and kisses they give when I babysit them.

I don't know if I naturally have that attraction for kids. Macam tengah duduk makan makan kan, tetiba ada small boy datang approach. Apa lagi, layan la, salam dia, usap2 rambut sikit, saying Hye. tak malu betul bila depan sana parents budak tu tengah tengok je kan. Hihi.

Andai saja kita mahu, ada je hikmah yang kita boleh ambil daripada budak sekecil itu. 

Tarbiyah itu wujud di mana-mana.

Cuma adakah kita MAHU melalui setiap detik dalam hidup ini sebagai satu proses pentarbiyahan daripada Allah.

Allah tak pernah ciptakan sesuatu tanpa ada sebabnya.

Allah tak pernah takdirkan sesuatu tanpa ada hikmahnya.

 

.Notes: Tomorrow practical exam, Health Diasease and Community Medicine.

Stuffed!

Salam 'alayk

Stuffed, yes I'm stuffed - with all things Human Disease. As I'm writing these lines - flashes of color, of routes, of sketches, of mnemonics here and there filled the plain canvas I made up in my mind.

I've been switching between tabs rather frequently - Facebook Youtube Twitter Google? Feels like being spun around. Not really finding for anything; just for the sake of running around and having something to do, to look at, or to listen to.. while going through human insides.

Anyway I've been straightening out a few things these past few weeks.. and whatever outcomes they brought along, they're doing a good job on me. I can finally say I'm okay, totally okay - more okay than I've ever been for months.



I hope no one reads my blog from now on.
I love the idea that it's suspended in the virtual world, but really, I'm better off writing for myself than having the thought of an audience at the back of my mind.