What to do?

Salam and hey there peeps!!~~

Yesterday was bad. Very very bad. Internal conflict..i guess? . But i am sure today will be a brighter day than yesterday with blue blue sky and sun sun shine. a good day ahead.
i wish.

my mind hasn't work out yet. it's somewhere around 1235 pm. i need to strech out my body and soul with pampering lunch and a nice cup of hot choc. my hands tremble and my happy feet ache. maybe i've been sitting too long. long enough that require me to get rid of my lappie.


note :

it was a significant - only to me, that how could life become some sort of masquerade party where you can hide your truly facial expression under a pretentiously ugly mask.

well of course, there is truth behind that quote. only i revoke to admit because i love to play hide and seek with emotions.

the quote meant that the self same well from which the laughter rises was often times filled with tears. i felt weird and awkward. heck, i don't even know how to express my all time favorite tasted differently.



ok, before I end this post,
btw, did u remember this girl?



Nadiah Amira Jamil
The girl obtained 18As in her SPM (2006 kot?)

I think she has just finished her A-Level in KYUEM under Bank Negara Malaysia (BNM) scholarship doing pharmacy. And just got the offer to pursue her studies in UK (cardiff Uni). How great!!~~ *jeles2 =______='

Am very delighted because Ive just found her blog!!!

Here

Cheers!! Till then :D

Oh Oh Scary

Salam and hey there ppl!!

tonight it is chill like wind blew the fallen dried leaves along the pavement all the way to my favorite jogging place (depan rumah jak.xjaoh ne). finally, after 6 months staying at home doing nothing, watching TV, on9-ing till late midnight, there is only one month left before Im heading off to KMS. Still lah about 1 month. What am I going to do?? I don't believe I can survive till this moment. Thanks to driving license and ronggeng moment :D

an errand in search of adventure. everything was normal like usual - people come and go, walking and talking.

So, dont waste ur time baybeh!!~ I believe I should revise all the science syllabus especially bio, chemist and add math. How fun my life would be after this~

Hallu baby! I noe u miss me :D

Welcome back darl~

Since I will continue my life as an IB student (like a month left), I have to prepare myself physically and mentally. Ok, this is IB. I never heard of people saying IB is easy, kacang or whatsoever sounds nice about this particular IB thingy.


********************

1. congrats, tp KMS takde life..hehe unless u haf the efforts to haf one la..-kak zakiah

2. Program Ib sangat mementingkan masa kerana banyak benda perlu dibuat. Jadi jangan tangguh. Anda tangguh kerja hari ini, esok akan datang lagi banyak dan kala itu anda akan menangis sambil melompat-lompatlah jawabnya.

Jangan ponteng kelas. Masa saya nak exam IB bulan lepas, saya sememangnya agar sukar nak memahami topik yang saya tak salin nota atau saya tiada di kelas kerana sakit dll.

Jangan main banyak sangat - walaupun baru masuk, sememangnya anda perlu fokus untuk peperiksaan semester 1 bagi membolehkan anda mendapat konfiden dan momentum untuk meneruskan pelajaran. Ada orang jadi down bila result semester 1 hancur. Susah juga kalau macam tu!

ikut segala program kolej - akan banyak program kolej jadi memang ramai juga yang ponteng. Biasa lah dah nama pelajar pandai. Bagi saya, banyak program kolej yang memberi anda banyak pengalaman. Dari situ saya banyak belajar banyak benda dan membuatkan hidup saya di KMB tidak bosan kerana saya mempunyai banyak tanggungjawab. Seronok juga kadang-kadang. Tapi kalau sampai menyemakkan kepala, susah juga. Pandai-pandailah - norshah

********************

Scary? yes! But not so..

oh, actually I hate this part and seriously, I do not master this topic at all even though SPM is over.~

yes, i miss Bio.
*hmm, I remember well the person whom teach me this part :D

This is the worst topic/chapter ever! urrgghhh~~

This is the most interesting + fun topic in bio..~~ weeeheehh



So, I shoudnt waste my time right? rather than watching Cinderella Man for non stop, lets study!!!

p/s : my mind twinged to an ol friend's saying that french men are beautiful. so i smiled and ate. owh. eiffel, i love you.

*oh oh no! ini sungguh tiada kaitan~

Matriks Labuan

Salam and hey there people!!!

Looks like I had discovered something just now :p

Joshua posted a link in Facebook and it is all about the orientation week in Kolej Matrikulasi Labuan. So, browsing through all the pictures and am very delighted to see some of the familiar faces :p lalalala~~~

can u spot someone???



I think I saw Cynthia :p

sp xkenal nang......

my long lost friends from Kolej Hj Bujang Miri
Hannah, Val, Munga

where are Razi, Cat and Cin???



p/s: DSLR~~~~

=____________='

Living Hell

I wonder how it feels when stepping into a new environment, getting new friends, away from our family and far far far away from our humble little town =.='

Does it look like hell? As what Peak had mentioned through his message?
UM isn't that bad lah kann??
Cool dude~

Just wait and see...

KMS!!
Here I come :D

Goodbye Peak

Salam and hey there people!!!

This is my friend, Peak waiting for his flight to KL at 11.55am.
The right one name Athirah and the left one is Azeema~
his 'adek' :D

Btw peak, good luck and all the best for u there. I'm sure we'll be meeting again next time in KL and ronggeng together as usual. InsyaAllah :)

i dont have any good and fun story lately. wish me luck, pray so that i dont die of heart attack.

these day are sooo boing and I spend my time playing online games while waiting for my offer letter from MARA~.

how pathetic!!!~~~



friendship last a life time.

some things are better left unsaid

Salam, and hey there peeps~

i love talking, and my passion to talk is deterriorating and my discomfort reveal so obviously when i had to keep my mouth shut for more than two hours in cinema. i always wish to meet a funny person, because that is the only way for me to feel good about myself, by averting talk to laugh. sometimes out of a blue moon, i do wish that i am funny. funny and warm hearted to make other happy. i believe that the ability to make other people laugh can be considered as a creative intelligence.

even einstein couldn't solve the mystery of laughter the best medicine.

maybe i am just myself. a self deluded awesome. maybe i should stop blaming myself for what had happened. Usually the small matter becomes big matter when it comes to me. Like TODAY~. don't want to mention the thing but I know Im sooo pathetic and I'm kind of...hmm....we call that.. tend to kecik ati? not so lah, but still terasa. For me! And I guess when people know about this, they will surely say + react

" hah??ala..xpalah.aiee..benda kecik. xda rezeki, etc"

But still lah, since he is my friend and Ive known him for years and...blablabla..argghh~~
k, period!




maybe writing will help and i should learn to not say anything...

Pa jaklah~

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Sesungguhnya kamu sgt lah kantoi! ahaha.
xpat antap gik kah mok berporet?

PJL~

and yes!
ada org palat.

p.s i love you, forever and today

Salam and hey there people!!!~~

apparently my life is not something that i dreamt of. it is far beyond my expectation and delusional thinking when i am starting to feel the boredom instead of enjoying every single second of it. maybe i am just angry or maybe the story had driven me off the track because life is full with unexpectancies.

i'm having a perpetual boring routine, i was angry because i have to wait for a month to start my college life at KMS. No, maybe not a month. I guess it is more than that. Because when I checked the KMS's 2009 calendar, the registration for new coming IB and Alevel students will be on the first week. pathetic isn't it? life is so boring here unless mom gives me a chance to drive and ronggeng with her car.

******************************


p.s i love you was the first novel written by cecilia ahern, the daughter of former irish prime minister. i read the book two years ago for once and really can't wait to watch the movie after this.

letters.
bring inexplicable moments to conjure with the present and the past. it is a written memory that will last forever.

and when the sky is falling, don't look outside the window.

Doa Selamat Awang

This is Awang :)
He will be heading off to KL this Wednesday to pursue his studies at UIA for asasi sains fizikal.

Awg with 'his' dslr.. buueeekk :p


And last night, there was majlis makan doa selamat at his house.
More and more friends are leaving -_-'

Goodbye awg!
God luck and all the best for ur future undertakings!!! :D


******************************

my twinkle twinkle little star

Happy Birthday Amal syg~~!!!

Now u are officially....teetttttt :p

Ini rezeki

Look at this :-)

Alhamdulillah. Syukur kpd Allah :)

The thing is IB is a very hectic pre-u programme as a whole. From what Nazrin said, IB is not that though but as long as u are consistent with ur studies, surely everything will be allright. Hopefully =.='

In a way, there are big probability for me to not pursue my study in UK.
It is either NZ or Aussie which is actually not in my dream =___________='

Last but not least, thank you MARA!







Thank you Allah. This is actually from You..

love letter to my syg

dear babe,

I am gonna miss u darling. Tomorrow is especially hard because you will be sent to the doctor. I can almost feel you beside me as I type this entry, and I can smell the scent of pavillions that always reminds me of you. But at this moment, these things give me no pleasure. I feel as if the greatest part of who I am is slowly slipping away.

I am trying, tough. At night when I am alone, I call for you and whenever my ache seems to be the greatest, you still seem to find a way to return to me by singing. Remember the 1234 song syg?

You are beautiful, I think as I see you, a vision that I can never find in anyone else. I slowly begin to walk toward you, and when you finally turn to me, I notice that others have been watching you as well " Do you know him?" , they asked me in jealous whispers and as you smile at me, I simply answer "Better that my own heart "

I am struck as I cant call u last two days. What have I done wrong?

I feel my throat begin to close and my eyes well up with tears because I know it is time for u to go babe. Not forever but just for few days but still, Im gonna miss you. I will sent you to the specialist tomorrow. I feel my own loneliness and the ache in my heart that had been silent for only a short time grows stronger as u release me tomorrow.

I believe that u will be healthier as before. Don't worry babe. But soon, always too soon, u will be back :)







get well soon babe...~



Sadness is creeping in =.='

Mama

For the one who owns the one and only arms in this world that can completely warm me up even in the coldest of deep dark sea...

The only one I truly feel safe in...

The only one who loves me and will not stop doing so until the end of time...

The only one I can never love back as much...Ever.

May Allah preserve you mama...

ameen

DSLR

I received a message from Cin yesterday :>>>

waaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Presenting you ladies and gentlemen..

tadaaaaaa~~~



EOS 500D Canon

This is what I want, what Im craving for!!!!!
Mak, can I have this for my next birthday present? *winks

I Miss Them

cat shuffle

razi somet

cin gele2

and since Azah is currently in Labuan for her holiday, I miss u too azah!!!!


Come back to Kuching lah!!

nothing is impossible

food - sounds yummy to me. simply love it. this explain why i am still fat and not so pretty. phew, today's amount of calories are climbing up - i had hershey's kisses, a cup of coffee to keep me awake (suka bha on9 tgh2 mlm yaawww), plain rice with fried egg, maybe keropok at late nite with another cup of coffee, then another cup, another cup till i got to bed.

Someone suggested me to take diet pills as suppliment, eat raw vegetables, drink dietary liquid (and die from formaldehyde ingestion by the breakup of methyl alcohol. thanks but no thanks. i'm cool. i'm happy. i'm fat. u are ugly) period!

Few days ago, i read about fda's approval of listeria-specific bacteriophage preparation on ready-to-eat (rte) meat and poultry products - in yahoo homepage headline. bacteriophages are viruses that infect only bacteria (eat bacteria) and do not infect mammalian or plant cells. everyday human are routinely exposed with phages through water and air. phages are familiar in our environment and now with advance knowledge in biochemistry - phages will be used to prevent bacteria from poultry contamination before packaging.

This mean that in few years to come, we will eventually come to the age of microphage as our food. urghh..

Welcome to the civilization dude.

In malaysia, we practiced the use of phages in food handling long before fda's appoval in the u.s. let's think about it this way : -

one mamak, rushed hurriedly to answer nature's call and then came back few minutes later to finish his cook with bare, unwashed hands (extra ingredients huuhu..) also used the same towel that he carried on his neck for wiping, food transfer, cleaning etc.

euuwww =.='

I'm waiting

Dear diary,

Life can be so sweet on the sunny side of the street.

Here i am, succumbed by the tune of jazz that splendour like air, spurred in every space and corner of this small, cubic, poor ventilation and maintainance home sweet home. my surrounds are rubble and concrete debris from constructions and house demolition. On my second hand approach, i poured some scent of antiseptic, circulating sprays of chlorofoam that at the same time gave this house a smell like in the morgue.

It is hazy and smokey Sunday and out of a blue, i am a brain dead.

My daddy jokingly told mama that those chocolatey drinks must choked my esophagus and conjured my terminal brain.

I am reading a book called brooklyn follies, with coffee and nice jazz at my room...

dyinnnnnngggggggg!!!!!!!!!!
bila gik mara mok keluar????

till then! Cheers peeps~~

A Walk To Remember

Dear diary,

It has been a nice weekend, a wonderful and lovely saturday that I own just to be at home, lying in my confortable matresses watching row of movies. I am enjoying my time because even in sickness, everyday is a brand new day. there are a lot of things to discover. Sickness is a pause to ponder off hectic lifestyle and stressful workload.

There is no such thing as mundane and perpetual boredom. it is ownself that responsible for own happiness. and i, sitting here in front of my laptop, writing to an old friend, wishing her the very best of health and goodluck for mid term exam with warm dedication and prayer.



My movie pick for this week is A Walk To Remember, 2002 romance film based on the 1999 romance novel with the same name by Nicholas Sparks. A walk to remember was in fact my favorite baskin robbin's ice cream flavor :)

In golden years, i think some people has their own theory of relativity in romance far beyond from what einstein had interpreted. the uniqueness of a couple lies in their chemistry. i may not the greatest philosopher nor shakespere's fan, but i know the great mystery of love is a mixture of jealousy, concern, anger and patience that what makes a human, a special person.

Well, how do you know i forgot you when u never asked?

Minggu2 terakhir

Dear diary,

I had a great time for last night's event. the whole family of GKE finally gathered again. Never thought that it would end this way, at last we are almost at the finishing line. How time flies =.='


I still remember the evening scene when everyone walked away leaving..
And how sweet it was to sing along with razi, ryza, cin and azah in the car. I wouldnt forget that! adoh.piluk hati~ kelak ronggeng agik ah!!!

My prayers for what small comfort it can gives will always be for you..


Razi, Cin and Cat will be heading off to Labuan this weekend..

Wishing u guys the very best and don't ever ever ever forget our sweet memories together~~

somewhere...

When I say I worry too much, I think I really meant it beyond words. I worry tooooo much!!! The kind of worry that lingers in your head, the kind that is not there in the top of 100 but it's there, SOMEWHERE!!! It's like the after test of accidentally biting cloves. You've spit it out of your mouth, but the taste lingers on and on. The only difference is that the taste fades away after awhile but worries camps out in the head still we actually do something about it to send it home packing solved, once and for all.

There's something that has been lingering in my head for quite awhile now. I'm pretty worried about it. No, it's anything dentrimental, just worrying. I really don't enjoy thinking about it. However, I'm not sure if I wanna push it away. It's could be something I want, if possible. However I'm not certain of actually getting it. Futhermore, I'm not sure if that is what I want. That latter fact makes it an unenjoyable thought.

Am I happy or am I just living?

Message In a Bottle

Salam and hey there peeps!!

Yesterday, hang out with friends and I found this lovely book...



Message in a Bottle by Nicholas Sparks. For those who haven't read this book, here I got the synopsis from Wiki :-

Thrown to the waves, and to fate, the bottle could have ended up anywhere. Instead, it is found just three weeks after it begins its journey. Theresa Osborne, divorced and the mother of a twelve-year-old son, picks it up during a seaside vacation from her job as a Boston newspaper columnist. Inside is a letter that opens with: My Dearest Catherine, I miss you my darling, as I always do, but today is particularly hard because the ocean has been singing to me, and the song is that of our life together...

For "Garrett," the man who signs the letter, the message is the only way he knows to express his undying love for a woman he has lost. For Theresa, wary of romance since her husband shattered her trust, the message raises questions that intrigue her. Who are Garrett and Catherine? Where is he now? What is his story?

Challenged by the mystery, and pulled to find Garrett by emotions she does not fully understand, Theresa begins a search that takes her to a sunlit coastal town and an unexpected confrontation. Brought together by chance-or something more powerful-Theresa and Garrett are people whose lives are about to touch for a purpose, in a tale that resonates with our deepest hopes for finding that special someone and everlasting love.

Ironically, it has its own movie in 1999? 1999? I mean, omg. lamak dah ya!! And I only know about this book last night from Amal. pergghh~~

status : i want to watch the movie!!!

UM-MARA

Salam and hey there peeps!!!

I was lolling around. Thinking about nothing and everything. I checked my UPU application just now. And I got the offer to do asasi at UM for Sains Fizikal which is not my interest at all and I'm not sooo into this fizikal thingyy u know. Haiyayaya. I'm not even thinking to take sains fizikal at all even though it is in my list of choices for my UPU application form. Engineering? Blaahhh.. It's like having something that u don't like at all.

Where to go??

If I can only be more patient with and accepting the difficulties in life, I will more deeply receive the gifts and blessings of life. Sometimes it took me a long time and much painful boomeranging of your expectations to finally understand the real meaning of life. If I were to illustrate the condition of my head at the moment, it would be like this space with so many things, scattered everywhere. Not in order. Not related. Not quite within my reach. It's the exact same way how I fell right now. I know everything is there. It's just that I've not really sat down on it to scrutinised it all, like I always do. I guess the time will come. I know it will. I just don't know them.

I guess it's true. I am such a control freak, I feel so lost when I'm not in control of myself. In a way, I fell like I'm so vulnerable when I'm in this state of mind, body and soul. I don't like it one bit. I fell helpless and hopeless..

MARA? This 3rd week of May. can't wait~
I'm sucks in making decisions. Trust me. AARGGHHHH