Life in Survival Mode

Assalamualaikum and hye peeps!

sheesh! 24 hours more then i’ll be flying off to KL, will be back to Seremban. you might say that i’m not being thankful as there must be hundreds or perhaps thousands of people dying to be at my place at this time. whatever you say, just don’t head over to the assumptions just yet. just ask my other colleagues, guess what they will say? same or maybe worst. what’s so great being at the place that you don’t have your heart in? isn’t it always pleasing to be at home? one month in MCS and i still can’t blend myself 100% in. this is something that i couldn’t fathom though it’s impossible to blame time ahead of me.

i’m so going to miss home. my queen size bed, my purple room, tv!, azeema n aiman. our house may not have everything but it’s enough to make me happy though everyone seems to mind about their own business often leaving me alone and left out. but it’s ok, as long as i don’t have to confront some messy days whenever i’m back there.

I'm definitely going to miss everyone and everything at home. Especially, my azeema. but then that's the way it is with life nowadays. The world shifts itself outside of my mindbox that I really need to catch up with most things all at once. What a torture that is. I guess one of the definition of "maturity" is to be able to cope with changes in life without the need to nag about it, but to have wise opinions over it.

i obviously haven’t started packing.

i haven’t studied for my chemistry test which is bad news.

i haven’t cleaned my room.

i almost haven’t met someone.

i haven’t been to the MPH though I went to the Spring twice already.

i haven’t claim the present from nazrin!

i haven’t complete my chemistry homeworks.

i haven’t made my bed.

i haven't print those worksheets from teacher.

i haven't visit Kak Ju yet since she got new baby!

in conclusion, i haven’t finish with anything!

how can i go when there’s so many unfinished business??

And not to mention how heavy my limbs are to wake up for tomorrow and yet it's not even tomorrow yet!

10 days in Kuching, full of laughters and joy. I'm very disheartened and I need a good laugh. Thank you very much. :)

untitled

i was reading a friend’s blog just now and her entry was somehow reflecting to something that i usually feel whenever i feel down. and it made me think, am i that pathetic? (note: this is a rhetorical question btw). because i do that a lot. lol! owh, well..

but then lets back to where we are. This is all fate. rezeki. So whatever it is, please accept..~
(am i really honest to say this?)

Farah and Nurin will be no longer soon in KMS because they will be heading off to Middle East soon.
(see? this small matter can affect my feelings. ok, if ure taking engineering, i dont care lah)

i hate this feeling. i hate feeling hopeless and impaired due to something. when the broadband fell sick, it feels as if i’ve lost my other half. this is also one of the reasons of why i hate commitments…. for now.


btw yuni. thank you :)

the end.

foolish heart

It has been raining quite a lot lately. In fact, it rained almost everyday since I came here. Like I've always described myself, my emotional well-being gets affected by the weather. It was a headache just to think of the considerations I have to align with.

Have you ever felt restless, can't sleep, can't eat very well?

And you do not know precisely a word that describes that feeling. A feeling new to your senses, something you've always been looking but scared to face. Wake up in the morning, thought you got the answer to the question you've been looking for- the name of that feeling; but it turns out that it's just another meaningless day. The haunting whispers in your head keeps rotating meaningless syllables every minute and every hour to fit the description of that nerve-wrecking, mysterious feeling.

ok ok. i should stop.

To the one who at this moment is facing a difficult time, if you're feeling scared and lonely; I want you to know that you are not alone and that that feeling will pass by like the wind carrying my thoughts to you. I know that you feel so small right now and how I wish I can wrap my arms around you and make you feel safe, take you away from this uncomforting feeling. Loneliness, the feeling that brings us together- though not in flesh and bones, but in our hearts. This feeling, is the feeling that I will always remember- whenever you're not here within my reach. I become a fragile person without you.

Someday, you will be found and I will never let you go, for your eyes is the window to my happiness.


*please dont make any wild guess regarding my post ye?*



ps: amal, fadh, rosey, farah, fakri, ali, kak dyg n kak saadiah will be in the same flight as me on the 31st august. how great ! penuh airbus oleh kita semua tok kelak eh!

still breathing..and smiling!

when KMSians met KMBians...

When I'm busy with something else, I see these social-networking thingies as a waste of internet space but it's awfully useful to stay connected to friends who have soared far and wide. Such a peculiar thing it is, that it can actually rekindle relationships and mend the broken parts.

:D

watch out ppl!

it's not loyalty issues

i don't have issues on loyalty but as u can see now.
i'm changing my template layout.
the thing is i’m expressive.
i tend to express whatever i feel.
through writing?
photos?
or even blog layout?


dark layout? what do u think then??



welcome to the real life eka. my own brand of heroin? if only my skin is much more paler, you’ll be mistaken me as one of those vampires. the dark circles under my eyes have already qualify.

What's up?

i seriously should be doing my homework right now but i’m uploading this instead.

i miss hanging out with these people. and that’s about it.

crappy boring entry

Salam and hey peeps

I'm thankful that I'm experiencing another Ramadhan.. unlike some people who don't get to. Very, thankful. Alhamdulillah for this wonderful month.. at last, my mind is put to some "spiritual" rest! Leaning back against the chair with both hands behind my head.. closed eyes.. listening to the rain pour.. ahh~~ i could stay this way forever... |D

okay, this entry is all wrong. i got mixed up. mega>kilo. obviously i was trying hard to exaggerate because i was too upset but i ended up being stupid. pardon me, and i’m very bad in math, so it’s a no surprise.

I too find it hard to give my concentration to one particular thing longer than 15 minutes. Im doing my maths hw just now, I couldn't help but wander my eyeballs around looking for something that can keep me interested to the exercises. Thankfully it requires a calculator so I guess it makes things easier for me to keep my head in the same direction if I get to fiddle my fingers with something. But that too can be a kind of distraction. Blergh.

note : nasib baik ada game Waka waka dlm FB. LOL. <----pengaruh mirul

The infamous ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) is back again. I guess this is why I keep doing different tasks prior to finishing one because I get bored so quick that I can't even stay still to do one thing at a time. Thankfully OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) is not much on strike even though when I was drawing the draft table for my schedules, I had to re-draw the same line for the least three times to make sure it's level at both sides. But I guess it was just my periodical perfectionist behaviour. After that I couldn't care less about it. Oh yes, I'm that weird.

Inferiority complex. Perhaps someone should just poke my head with a pencil, re-wire the neurons in my brain or re-draw my imaginations for me. I want to see a magic trick that can run down all the logics in my brain so I can start all over again. I need a shrink! I need the sea, the shore, the sun and the sand!

Peace.

nota kaki : i was napping a few hours back because my head was spinning before I start to continue all those crap reports and homeworks to be done within these 10 days. sheesh! and i had this strange strange dream. very very strange i must say. but it's too personal too be posted in this blog. haha. nanti jadi bahan ketawa. sumpah. ok2 lah. abaikan..~

this pic had a connection with my weird dream. U know where it is, and surely u know what I mean....if and only u read my blog.. *wink2*

home :D

Salam and hye peeps!!!

Happy happy happy!!!

i'm home :)


and to all of you, selamat menyambut bulan Ramadhan Al-Mubarak. Semoga Ramadhan kali ini membawa lebih erti dari tahun2 yg sebelumnya. Sama2 lah kita meningkatkan amalan di bulan yang mulia ini. k?

Cheers! :D

I'm feeling the way...

I feel...happy. Oh yes, hours and hours of exploding heads, shotgun shells, and blood and gore has really gotten me back into a good mood. I'm HAPPY. Ngahahaa.

Well, I'll be heading off to Kuching tomorrow. Flight-6.05pm. Fakri-10.15pm. Badminton with Azeema on weekends. Less intake of food. (sigh) Oh, and homeworks-lab report too. I tend to use weekends particularly for unleashing the 'carefree' version of me, using the 'no one STUDIES on weekends' quote to make me feel better about myself.

Oh wait, I'm an IB-ian. We are FORCED to do Saturdays.

Oh well, life can't be all daffodils and roses. I mean, after all the other neat stuff I get in exchange, a few sacrifices are in order. So hm, yeah, nothing's been up. Bio's test yesterday was ok I guess. And cant wait to sit for maths test tomorow which I think I havent prepared enuf until this moment.

Meeting friends next week. Can't wait! We seldom see each other now, really, but everytime we do it's just... I dunno, it feels good. I mean, we're not that involved in each others' lives anymore, but we just go somewhere, have lunch, sit down and TALK and laugh and well, we share things completely.

God knows I need someone to talk to right now. So much has happened. So much changes over the past months that was the opening of college.

When I think about it, is life going by too fast?

And if life goes by too fast for me, how are my parents taking it? Sometimes I feel like when I blink, I'll open my eyes and everyone else will be gone. Mom. Dad. My best friends. Never mind that some of them are younger than me. But I don't know, sometimes I realize that if these people weren't around, my life would have no meaning?

I can't save myself. It's something I've convinced myself of a long time ago. I'm not the kind of person who can smile and shrug my problems aside.

So what little meaning my life has, let it be that it was spent for others.

So.

I'm sure now. Before I die, I want to save at least ONE life, in hopes that that one life will be more meaningful than mine.

P.S.- Now that I think about it, it's odd that I get this sudden burst of enlightenment and reason after 5 straight hours of classes...

shessh!

keju berganda =_________='

I just have to do something that I really don't want to do.

But I kind of want to do it, which makes me not want to do it even more because it seems so wrong even though it's right, u know?

Oh..

Don't mind me.

I am just going nuts

I thought I overanalysed things

OMAIGOD!!! No way!!!

She's already got her own DSLR????

meaning she can shoot anything right through SLR??

and now am thinking to steal her SLR when I meet her in Kch this coming hols
*grinding teeth*

*slaps herself to reality*


HA HA HA. jk. This morning I found out that Ali has tagged me in this pic. And I was like....
"omaigod!! amal dh beli dslr??"


perasaan bercampur baur.


beban di bahu mcm makin berat.



HA HA HA HA

ok. its her friend's slr there in intec...

end *senyum lebar*

ps : while i was showering, i stared blankly onto the mirror. and a second later, i noticed myself smiling for no reason, out of all these pressures. it freaks me out. this must be one of those early symtomps caused by stress overdose. man!

a complaint

I have been busy actually. And besides that nowadays I'm a bit emotionally wrecked, but I don't want to confront those feelings here. I don't know why, but I think I have a boring life. I wake up in the morning, go to class, learn something at a face pace, feel lightheaded in the middle of it, got lost before the lesson ends, get stressed in the weekends for deadlines in the coming week etc etc. One week feels like a few days and it's like somebody's pushing the FWD button in my life. I need to catch a breath, you know.

I can only give optimum focus on my textbook for 20 minutes. 2 lab reports in a week (which I'm struggling to get it going), bio test in four days, design exp report-after holiday, never ending exercise in the handbook and clutters from non-academic workabouts. I hate this time of the year. the worst and pathetic weekend ever in MCS!!

It's only the first semester of IB and I wonder how does it looks like in the last semester and I cant imagine how busy these ppl in sem 3-4. Of course, nothing is easy in this world; but I am indeed afraid that I would not go through to the end very well. Oh why do I always have this feeling? The feeling of floating with the wave and not care about where it may lead me to. My inferiority complex is really doing a good job at giving the best pep talk for making me feel like rubbish every day. I need a shrink!

no wonder ASSignments are called ASSignments. because you’ll see an ASS first before you can spell the whole thing.

when will all these rain of assignments stop dropping from the sky? oh my, this must be the acid rain in term of assignments!

oh, i’m full of complaints am i?

unbreakable

if you’ve thought i’m a interesting person, obviously you must be blind. or you just don’t really know me that well. i’m boring and that’s a solid fact. as solid as Newton proved how gravity works or the fact that the moon is orbiting the earth and the earth to the sun.

i’m an emotional person. sometimes if you caught me smiling at you that can be fake. you don’t have any idea of what i have in my heads. i’m very rough (as in actions). although i look so petite don’t underestimate my ability of destruction.

and don’t poke on my emotions as it is more breakable than those glasses because i’ve heard due to the development of technologies, they even managed to produce glasses that are bullet proof. and that’s also a solid fact. as solid as the fact that i’m a boring person.

and if that doesn’t make you happy, my dark background of every single blog i created must be the obvious hints of all hints. and if you still don’t get the clue, i give up. you’re free to think of what you think you’re thinking right now.

it took me four paragraphs of introduction when actually what i want to point out in this entry is actually pictures of the outings with my best friends at Palm Beach last few months though the whole four paragraphs seems to have nothing to do at all with the pictures.

because I miss them...
























yippie!! i super love these peeps! how come i don’t love them if they will surely provide me with endless fun and laughters?~

when im bored

Assalamualaikum and hi peeps.

First of all, I realize quite a number of my friends have started blogging. Personally, i think that's a very positive progress. As more people blog, more stories and personal life experiences are shared, more thoughts and opinions are expressed. It indirectly broadens our life perspectives as we learn more about ourselves and others. So, to my friends and the rest of the blogging community, keep it up all right. Blog and share what you have to the rest of the world.

OK! enough with that!

I'm now counting days for my puasa break. 10 more days and YEAY!!!



Great place, magnificent view, friendly people with thick accent and very historical? Where? Its Edinburgh! :D

As all of us know, the traditional Scottish costume is the skirt which looks like a mini kain pelekat. According to a friend which is currently studying in the UK, as he stroll around the Edinburgh castle during hols, he saw few gentleman wearing the skirt walking around as visitors, not as the display and they seem to be proud of it.


So i thought if Malaysians wearing their kain pelekat walking around in Edinburgh, ppl there must somehow be really impressed looking at them for having longer (most probably more expensive) skirt. We should wear more of our kain pelikat in Malaysia la... be proud.
Perhatian kpd pelajar lelaki kms : Wear one when u go to class.

MERCAT TOURS; the haunted underground. According to the website, BBC claims that the underground is the most haunted place in Britain (it really sounds scary isn't it). So, bored with the Asian ghosts? why not pay a visit to the western ones.

and the place is not as 'haunted' as claimed after all. what do you expect... take this for instance...


See the white bubbles in the picture? According to Nazrin, that's a GHOST. by now, a shiver should be running down your spine.


Ok, now compare this with our typical Asian Ghost.


Nothing in comparison eh? Show this to Scottish ppl will result in two possible outcomes.
cirit or die.???


Signing off. Cheers mates :D

sorry kawan

i arrived in this oo7 right after the election for the new mpp. because there are a lot of works need to be done and i hate doing it in the middle of night. i am a morning person but sometimes sleeping can be so wonderful if it prolonged until mid day. Tomorrow morning we have test(s) for bio and econs which I think am not that ready...yet. and I didnt have a dinner tonight because m too lazy to go to ds. and my eyes are now screening on today's headline. i need to be multitasking because twenty four hours is not enough. there are so much thing that i want to do.

for some reasons i would like to escape from kms. escape from IB. because i feel too contemplate with date, uncertain and the same life cycle. I wish I could go back home right now. Get my ticket and hugs my parents and my lovely ana,azeema n aiman. And ronggeng with friends there in Kch. How i miss the good old days geng! xsbr nemu ktk org raya kelak ehh!. muah muah :D and I wish I could do something else which is more fun and cool.

And here, I would really really like to apologize to a friend. Sorry for the last Friday thingy. I thought ure not taking it seriously. So, I decided to 'use' different term. And secondly, for making u waitin at ds in the morning to take the data from me. I feel guilty as soon as I woke up and got 2 missed call and 2 mssges from u friend. Tertidur. Sgt2 sori :( And I feel guilty until now.


currently i'm sleepy and will have to buzz off now.

happiness

With that strong jawline he smiles, a smile that causes my stomach to do one bounce, 2 bounce, 3 bounce before attempting the toghest dive of all, a reverse one-ponit-five somersault and then one, two, three and a half twists before entering the water with a belly flop :)

Happiness. It made the whole dying things pretty bearable.

Dibuai Kasih?

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim....

this note is dedicated to everyone in love. :)

Sekarang at this point of time in my life, in KMS i mean now..semakin rancak perbualan2 sekitar topik hangat tu - siapa yang dah ad bf/gf, siapa yang dah bertunang (erkk), siapa yang dirisik, siapa yang finally jumpa dengan 'mr right', siapa yang sudah ta'aruf, siapa yang sedang sibuk buat persiapan untuk perkahwinan hujung tahun ni (ok2.over dah)....etc. Since that last night all muslimat were compulsory to attend the Usrah Perdana and the topic is Cinta. (kinda lah)

Apa2pun semoga keberkatan dr Allah menaungi setiap pertemuan2 ini...dan semoga nafsu dan syaitan tak berjaya menghalang keinginan fitrah kita untuk bercinta, cinta yang suci dengan harapan ia kekal abadi dunia dan akhirat..;-) semoga jodoh itu dtgnya dr Allah, bukan syaitan, bukan jin!( ref: syurga cinta)

Alhamdulillah....:) these kind of 'news' (read: non hazardous gossips) never fails to lift up any conversation! and I am genuinely very happy for those family and friends of mine.... ;-)

To all, 'Barakallahulak, wa baraka 'alaik, wa jama 'a bainakuma fi khair!'

(Semoga Allah memberkati untukmu dan melimpahkan berkat ke atasmu serta mengumpulkan kamu berdua dalam kebajikan.)
(May Allah bless both of you, and enjoins you in goodness)

ameen.:)

Indeed, I would imagine that you would agreee that one of the greatest blessing Allah has bestowed upon all of you thus far would for one be that very person, now beside you- that source of mawaddah arrahmah ( bliss and blessings) insyaAllah.

In this occasion I'd like to share this for everyone with some love to give...especially with those lucky ones whom have biiznillah found their other half, especially so for the ones whom have alhamdulillah been able to rightfully tie the knots, a hadith and some humble words...

‘The Messenger of Allah (sall Allahu alaihi wa salem) kissed al-Hasan ibn Ali while al-Aqra ibn Habis al-Tamimi was sitting with him. Al-Aqra said, ‘I have ten children and I have never kissed any of them’. The Messenger of Allah (sall Allahu alaihi wa salem) said, ‘Whoever does not show mercy(love) will not be shown mercy (love)’

[Riwayat Al bukhari, Muslim, al tirmizi and abu daud]

' ‘Whoever does not show mercy(love) will not be shown mercy (love)’
'Sesiapa yang tidak memberi kasih sayang, tidak akan diberi kasih sayang'.....

so in that spirit, let us all start with the intention to GIVE

My brothers and sisters, when you love, love for the sake of Allah, and insyaAllah it will be one that will be rewarded continued blessings until the end of time.

For if you love for another reason above that, it would be hard for you to do it right and it will fade.

Love first, then be loved...

Let Allah alone reward you for your love, and it would be wise that you do not expect to get back what you give. A sincere love does not expect to be rewarded.

For Allah will surely give something better than anyone else could.

To love usually means to sacrifice. Without it, it wont be as sweet.

Lastly, don't worry if you are not loved, but instead you should be worried if you can't love.

Cinta pada manusia itu bukan hak milik, tapi satu anugerah.

To love does not mean to own, but to treasure it as long as Allah lets it be with us.

Hence, for your gratefulness upon this blessing, and for your humility towards the fact that that strong feeling of love is in fact incomparable to the love Allah has for you.....May the love you share for one another brings both of you closer to the one who bestowed you that love.

selamat bercinta ye!

Beauty Tips

Assalamualaikum WBT and hi peeps.

While i was surfing the net, i found something interesting. Some very useful tips. Thought you guys wanna know. =)

1. Agar wajah selalu segar, berseri-seri dan cantik :

Cucilah minimal 5 kali sehari dengan air wudhu. Jangan langsung dikeringkan, biarkan menitis dan kering sendiri. Lalu ambillah sajadah, shalat, berdzikir, dan berdo'a.

For some friends in the UK, they normally bring a towel or tissue paper together with em when they make wudhu' and wipe the remaining trickling water immediately. Sejuk... If you pray 5 times a day, this won't be a problem. Wudhu' and u definitely shine!

2. Untuk menghilangkan stress:

Perbanyaklah 'olahraga'. Cukup dengan memperbanyakkan solat. Ketika solat, kita mengerakkan seluruh tubuh. Lalu berkonsultasilah pada Allah SWT dengan dzikir dan do'a.

If you think you are a real sportsman, prove it through your Solat. If you can run 4 km a day, Im sure a 5 minutes tahajjud every night at 4 am is easy. the 5 daily prayers? piece of cake.

3. Untuk pelembab, agar awet muda:

Gunakanlah senyuman. Tidak hanya di bibir tapi juga di hati. Jangan lupa bisikkan 'kata kunci', "Allahuma Kamma Hassanta Khalqii Fahassin Khuluqii" (Ya Allah sebagaimana engkau telah memperindah kejadianku, maka perindah pula ahlaqku).
(HR Ahmad).- DOA TENGOK CERMIN

Instead of having ulam2an for awet muda or whatever jamu we have in the market, why not try this. It doesn't cost u much. Results are noticeable.

4. Untuk punya bibir cantik :

Bisikkan kalimat-kalimat Allah, tidak berbohong atau menyakiti hati orang lain, tidak menyombongkan diri atau takabur.

By right, all of us Muslims have beautiful lips. If you don't, you know you must fix something bout yourself. You have no idea how good Angelina Jolie will look if shes a Muslim. =P


5. Agar tubuh langsing, mulus :

Diet yang teratur dengan berpuasa seminggu 2 kali, Isnin dan Khamis.
Jika kuat, lebih bagus lagi puasa Nabi Daud AS i.e. selang satu hari.
Makanlah makanan halal, perbanyak sayuran, buah-buahan, dan air putih.

Everyone in this world thinks they're fat. I know you are. (Only a tiny percentage who don't) Not that hard to have a slim body rite? You can even save money.

6. Untuk mengembangkan diri :

Sebarkan salam dan sapaan. Dengan demikian kita akan banyak dikenal dan disayangi.

No man is an island. As Muslims, we do have our ways of socializing. So, why not follow the right ways.




As we strive to do the right thing, Allah will show us ways to fulfill our needs.

If you think you have no friends, pray for Allah will give you true friends.

If you think you are a shy type, pray for Allah will make people feel comfortable around you and vice versa.

Islam is the way of life. It's us who make the choice to stick with the right way. May us all be guided yea. =)

Cheers mates!

Malam Aspirasi Palestin

Ya khaira khalqillah ya taja ruslillah
'alayka azka as salawat ya rasulallah

tolonglaahh

The past couples of weeks felt like I was pushing a damn wall. My hopes were high, but hey, the wall wasn't going anywhere.

And also,
I might need to recover the goodness of life.

At this point of time im feeling more like a little girl by the street with big brown eyes and an even bigger dream. While I'm at it, I'm just wondering where my life is going.

Hopefully nowhere to dark, eh?



ps : knek tok musim demam kan. jadi mood pun dh selalu xbgus. senang mok marah senang mok kecik ati. jadi tlg jgn hantar msg berupa jemputan makan2. annoying ok??