Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.
Right now, I feel a desperate urge to write and keep myself busy. Although I'm due to sit for an exam on Wednesday, I just cant seem to concentrate long enough to even warm my seat at the study desk. This heart, seems unsettled. It needs to calm down! Went for a cycling in the morning today (in the freezing cold) and besides this and classes on the weekdays, my year has been quiet so far. Classes havent been as packed due to the examination period and with everyone's tendency of being antisocial, its also limited my contact with the outside world. I'm dull that way.
It's supposed to be spring but instead of getting warm, the rain outside doesnt look like its gonna stop anytime soon. Lucky for me, I love writing on rainy days, where thoughts trickle as easily as the rain streaming down my windows.
Looking back on this year, I cant help but feel that it went by so fast. Maybe just a little too fast. But one thing I know for sure was that it was a year of significant change for me. Too many things happened in my fourth year that really tested me and the people surrounding me. Some have stayed, some walked out. Its the year that I felt the most pressure so far to the point that sometimes I gave up so many times and I'm still learning how to get back up. It was a year that I regretted so many things, too many things. So, it was also the year that I tried hardest to be better, to make up for the screw ups and mistakes. But the past just wont go away. No, dont feel sorry for me, because just being able to say that I tried, I really really tried, feels like an achievement, somehow. All the struggles and personal issues aside though, I am grateful that I got to share all of them with friends so that's more than I could have asked for!
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