I am anxious, jittery, nervous and *insert all the other synonyms*. Heart is beating too fast. And I bet my blood pressure is high if checked.
In 3 weeks time I will start my second year. Alhamdulillah. I am ever so grateful to the Almighty to be given this chance. While I’m excited on one hand, the truth is I am nervous. I do not know what this year has in store for me. This one senior said that it was his hardest year. This was the part that I freaked out. But I calmed myself down. I told myself “do not compare yourself with others.” I am not saying I’m smarter but I am different than her. Things might not be the same for two different people. This made me think that day. Sometimes we believe in what others say so much, we lose faith in ourselves. Is medicine really hard or are you just intimidated? You know you can Ka!! InsyaAllah. Keep on working hard and never stop praying.
Truth to be told, I did not start my first year being myself. I was mostly so very insecure and scared. I was not the usual loud, always smiling me. I was not. There was this day I became myself and one girl commented “eh, since when are you like this?” Nothing is worse than being yourself and someone asking you that. It showed that I did not start my university life being me. You don’t get a twice first impression but I’m hoping everyone would notice that was just a phase. That was a difficult time for me.
I went through so much in 2011 and alhamdulillah to have gotten this far. To be as strong as this. To be as positive as this (aaaa I was so much worse before!). To be graceful in handling things. To be better than I used to be. I don’t need everyone to realize that. When those who are close to me noticed that, I know I’ve come a long way. They know me best. They love me best. They see me best.
This is the start of so many new things. I don’t know. In all honestly, I’m quite nervous. I have been occupying myself with a lot of things lately to keep my mind off things.
Ever since we chat, this has always been what we talked about. This was your commitment. This was your focus. And I wanted this as much as you did. And now, it’s here. But we are not sharing this happiness together, even as friends. Mixed feelings on my side. One thing for sure is you deserve this. I don’t know anyone else who deserves this more than you.
What do I say to you?
Be grand.
Good luck over there : )
Take care of yourself.
I know you will be great over there : )
Nothing seems right.
Whatever happens, you are very special to me. It’s not even romantic love. It's not even a relationship. It's not even we're that close. But you know, seeing you doing well from far, growing, getting ilmu all the way from that place, more than enuf. And we don't talk that much anymore aite?
Which is for the first time ever is not in my priority list. You’re just someone that I deeply care about but unlike with my friends, I can’t shower you with my affection. Because admit it, it will be pretty weird. No matter how we say we are friends.
I guess we always have that someone that we deeply care about but he/she is unreachable, unable to shower them with love because of far too many reasons. Hmm...
In 3 weeks time I will start my second year. Alhamdulillah. I am ever so grateful to the Almighty to be given this chance. While I’m excited on one hand, the truth is I am nervous. I do not know what this year has in store for me. This one senior said that it was his hardest year. This was the part that I freaked out. But I calmed myself down. I told myself “do not compare yourself with others.” I am not saying I’m smarter but I am different than her. Things might not be the same for two different people. This made me think that day. Sometimes we believe in what others say so much, we lose faith in ourselves. Is medicine really hard or are you just intimidated? You know you can Ka!! InsyaAllah. Keep on working hard and never stop praying.
Truth to be told, I did not start my first year being myself. I was mostly so very insecure and scared. I was not the usual loud, always smiling me. I was not. There was this day I became myself and one girl commented “eh, since when are you like this?” Nothing is worse than being yourself and someone asking you that. It showed that I did not start my university life being me. You don’t get a twice first impression but I’m hoping everyone would notice that was just a phase. That was a difficult time for me.
I went through so much in 2011 and alhamdulillah to have gotten this far. To be as strong as this. To be as positive as this (aaaa I was so much worse before!). To be graceful in handling things. To be better than I used to be. I don’t need everyone to realize that. When those who are close to me noticed that, I know I’ve come a long way. They know me best. They love me best. They see me best.
This is the start of so many new things. I don’t know. In all honestly, I’m quite nervous. I have been occupying myself with a lot of things lately to keep my mind off things.
Ever since we chat, this has always been what we talked about. This was your commitment. This was your focus. And I wanted this as much as you did. And now, it’s here. But we are not sharing this happiness together, even as friends. Mixed feelings on my side. One thing for sure is you deserve this. I don’t know anyone else who deserves this more than you.
What do I say to you?
Nothing seems right.
Whatever happens, you are very special to me. It’s not even romantic love. It's not even a relationship. It's not even we're that close. But you know, seeing you doing well from far, growing, getting ilmu all the way from that place, more than enuf. And we don't talk that much anymore aite?
Which is for the first time ever is not in my priority list. You’re just someone that I deeply care about but unlike with my friends, I can’t shower you with my affection. Because admit it, it will be pretty weird. No matter how we say we are friends.
I guess we always have that someone that we deeply care about but he/she is unreachable, unable to shower them with love because of far too many reasons. Hmm...
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